Jennie's quiet spot

if you stumble upon this one...

2010-01-27T23:13:00.001-08:00

come search me out at the new spot... it's a queen's frickin universe is what it is... g'luck to you

jumping ship and joining wordpress

2009-04-26T17:57:00.000-07:00

Lady Guinevere's Quiet Spotcome see me there!

a lot on my mind

2009-04-23T23:03:00.000-07:00

trying to figure out the best way to give everyone what they need and want. including myself. just don't know how...and it's tearing me apart. and what i want and need is not here..but i apparently can't have everything. and yes..i know it's life and life's not fair..but DAMMIT. Why NOT? i want to be with her. with her. in her town. i feel myself living there. with her. it's already

she's on her way home

2009-04-19T16:40:00.000-07:00

back to Louisville.I miss her.I had a fantastic time with her here...She had never visited St. Louis before...Wasn't overly fond of this River City. Something about ice and driving. LOL She drove up early and surprised me! Took her to a couple of my favorite places to eat. Walked downtown on Laclede's Landing..Took her to the top of the Gateway Arch..Drove her around the City..Today we said

one week ago

2009-04-16T21:21:00.000-07:00

today i was preparing to meet her.it was an absolutely splendid weekend.and i was sad when it was time to go..but...and here i laugh..because it is crazy..this weekend..one week later...my ex is keeping my child..and she's coming here..to see my city..to see me.and neither of us truly have words to describe what we feel..and that is amazing to me.soon...i will see her soon.

ok..so maybe not so calm

2009-04-09T21:09:00.000-07:00

LMAOi'm frazzled...and i just want to talk to her still..i've never talked SO much with anyone...TALKED.texted? yes.im? yes.actually talk? NO NO NOwe talk about everything and anything...i enjoy her voice.. the patterns her tones make.. the ups and downs..the quiets and louds..the laughs and the seriousness..i enjoy her.and i'm back to being outta my mind tonight. LOL nearly finished with

and the City may Burn!

2009-04-09T18:02:00.000-07:00

but it will be good. really.it will!i'm excited. very, very excited to mosey on down her way (and no..that's not missour-AH slang) to see her this weekend.i'd started getting frazzled..the week had been taking too long to end...but now..now..i'm starting the final push..pulling myself back into my body, my head.slowing down...getting things ready..i'll be calm until i'm there. and then BOOM!

i'm having a difficult time sleeping..

2009-04-04T22:53:00.000-07:00

though i'm happy.very happy.life...which is generally pretty decent to me..all things considered..has been particularly outstanding recently.but i'm up...not wide awake...but not exactly able to sleep...missing something...someone...so..the following is one of about 3 lullabies i would sing to E when she was lil bitty. she would try to push my mouth closed...because the songs always relaxed her.

i think...

2009-04-02T21:23:00.000-07:00

we're in trouble...LOLseems to be the common refrain...as i can't seem to stop thinking...about you...that you draw me....scary... WONDROUS (oh yes... oh so very wondrous) but most definitely terrifying..and oh...oh..oh.Is it Easter yet????

she asks me softly

2009-04-01T22:10:00.000-07:00

is it Easter yet?patience.patience..

ahhh

2009-03-31T22:54:00.000-07:00

beginnings are exciting..and wondrous..and scary..and regardless of anything which may happen...my life is all the more rich for this beginning.

hmmm...thinking..thinking.

2009-03-31T00:54:00.000-07:00

so. yup.i am a coffee master. basically i'm suppose to live, breathe and die coffee. and i attempt to. i really do. and i generally enjoy my job. generally. it has it's ups and downs..i like most of my customers. most of them. i can prolly call either by first name or by drink 200ish customers?? i dunno.. i've never sat down really to figure it out..my boss is prolly my closest friend.

sometimes..

2009-03-29T23:44:00.001-07:00

sometimes....sometimes i wish i could see into the future. my grandmother, my namesake, believed mightily in psychics. she swore they could view the future and give us glimpses. my parents' favorite story to share about her psychic adventures is about me....When my folks were building their house, they fully planned on moving my grandma in with them. She was getting to the point where she

a repost..because the computer and i are arguing..

2009-03-29T15:47:00.000-07:00

i appreciate the previous comments....and i wish i wouldn't have lost this particular blog the first time! lol-------------------------------an odei found this and almost shouted "YES" because she wrote exactly what i feel about butch women....anyway..this was written by a gal named gwen b on yahoo answers...and the question came from a feminine lesbian who likes other feminine women..is there

wow

2009-03-27T14:36:00.000-07:00

i started following Le Love and found this site there today. http://iloveherellipsis.tumblr.com/

oh boy

2009-03-24T19:51:00.000-07:00

so i pick up E from school, and we head to the CWE to meet up with Pita and Pril for sushi. YUM. we have a great time with them...E loves them both and they are both equally great with her. she eats her

where have i been?

2009-03-23T05:49:00.000-07:00

stolen from Tina--i apparently need to do some more traveling. lolBold the states you’ve been to, underline the states you’ve lived in and italicize the state you’re in now…Alabama / Alaska / Arizona / Arkansas / California / Colorado /Connecticut / Delaware / Florida / Georgia / Hawaii / Idaho / Illinois / Indiana / Iowa / Kansas / Kentucky / Louisiana / Maine / Maryland / Massachusetts /

nicknames

2009-03-21T14:28:00.001-07:00

ya know...i've not really ever had a nickname until the last few years...and i was okay with that. i was nearly always jennie. jen to a few. jennifer only to aunts and uncles who refused to listen to me. lolmy dad called me alice. don't know. really. he still tries. i still ignore him. lol (as far as i know..there are no alices in the family. my middle is eileen. a nice irish name from

Blue Ribbon

2009-03-20T18:24:00.000-07:00

so. yeah. back in that silly holding pattern with the gal. though this time i'm actively(?) looking over my options. i suppose actively really isn't correct..but let's say i've decided that any relationship with her will be nothing more than kiss-kiss. and that frankly isn't fair to me. i was okay with being friends with her..but friends to me, in my world, at least..don't kiss. at least not

tagged

2009-03-18T17:00:00.000-07:00

You're it!!! If you opened it, you have to do it (it only takes a couple minutes... promise!) Then, send it back to the person who sent it to you and to the rest of your friends.It is not necessary to do that -- I never "tag" -- I have been tagged and this is an easy one.Five names you go by:Jennie, Jen, Mama are really the 3 i hear..i'll also use Mo'i Wahine (which is princess in Hawaiian) and

another meme..

2009-03-10T19:41:00.000-07:00

hmm.. thank the Asphalt Cowboy for this one! lolhere's the rules1. You've got to post a link from the person who tagged you.2. List 8 things that you know about on your chosen subject. You get to choose the subject.3. You don't have to tag anyone but you can if you want. If you do, let them know on their blog that they've been tagged.4. List the rules.and here's my attempt.my chosen subject...

Here's a meme for the mothers reading this! lol

2009-03-08T19:54:00.001-07:00

Your First Born (deep breath.... Here it goes)Here you go moms a different kind of survey for a change it's all about your first born!! Just copy and paste it in a new note for yourself.Let's see how much you remember!1. Was your first pregnancy planned?? yup. 2. Were you married at the time??yup3. What were your reactions??"I'm sorry...we're what? I just finished school and am now trying to

any campers out there?

2009-03-03T18:03:00.001-08:00

Date: Mar 3, 2009 so. our troop is of the "legal" girl scouting age to go

tongue-tied blue: a world being born

2009-02-28T15:21:00.000-08:00

tongue-tied blue: a world being borni agree with her. it is in relationships where everything is tenuous and scary. yet exciting!

what do i tell her?

2009-02-25T16:29:00.000-08:00

a friend and i were sitting outside work this morning and were talking. she was asking me how my "coming out" had been and how much pda i was ok with while out and about. I told her it really depended on the situation. if i'm at a gay-friendly place, like the local lesbian club, i'm much more likely to engage in some kissing and hand-holding. And even then...not really all that much. I'm not

Bucket List

2009-02-24T18:12:00.000-08:00

k y'all...i know the movie came out ages ago. but as often as i have a chance to actually watch something? anyway...gotta say. love Morgan Freeman and Jack Nicholson. awesome.and while i've had discussions with folks on their bucket lists...i've never really sat down and started my own.so..this is a work in progress....1. swim

Superhero? Me?!

2009-02-17T11:21:00.000-08:00

so..yeah. i'm feeling like i need to pull my SuperHero Persona out to protect myself. i shoulda just stayed done.So...got the suit on, the wings ready to fly..and the cat o'nine tails ready for action. ready for action if needed.meantime...ima put on my alterego disguise and go be a girlscout mom in a coupla hours!

and it is what it is part 2

2009-02-14T15:09:00.000-08:00

so it's done. and prolly for the best. i'm frustrated because i don't get to spend personal time with her. she's done because (mostly due to my frustration) i'm coming off negative. it's a lose lose situation. and really. how does not seeing each other in a relationship work? and were we really in one to begin with? that's my confusion...my frustration...it's not like we lived in

angry..no...actually..it is what it is.

2009-02-13T17:01:00.000-08:00

done tryin.worked my schedule out..to where i had a Saturday night available for a possible date night. unfortunately..it also happens to fall on Valentine's day. i don't celebrate valentine's day. it's goofy. sorry. but it is. the only thing i bother to do is get E something. because she is a kid. and kids like this kinda stuff. so. no. no date because it's a commercialized blah blah

i want to be a pirate!

2009-02-12T12:39:00.000-08:00

Her Majesty, the Pirate Queen, Cap'n Alix Dyke has bestowed upon me the right to relax at Th'Mound. I am immensely pleased to offer my services to My Queen. and perhaps she will continue to look upon me kindly as I learn to speak Pirate-ese.*Bows head and Curtsies*

fluff

2009-02-11T18:38:00.001-08:00

i'm really not fluff. believe it or not. i may play light. i may play goofy. but that's more due to the fact i don't wanna get into a deep philosophical fight..i mean discussion...i wanna have the fun in my life. the goofiness. the silliness. because i have enough...sometimes more than enough in my head to depress any sun-loving being. i tend to look at things thru a dark lens...so its

jealous!! lol

2009-02-08T17:28:00.000-08:00

gotta say i'm quite jealous of The Wishful Writer and her vacation! but all i have to do is wait until August and then I'll be somewhere west of Reno. staying in a lakehouse with a bunch of ladies and a few gents i've known for years online...but haven't met yet in person. I'm excited! can't wait!!

don't divorce..

2009-02-07T13:15:00.000-08:00

thank you goes to Sinclair at Sugarbutch Chronicles for sharing this..--------------------------------------------------------------------"Fidelity": Don't Divorce... from Courage Campaign on Vimeo.Ken Starr, who led the campaign to impeach President Bill Clinton, filed a legal brief last month -- on behalf of the "Yes on 8" campaign -- that would forcibly divorce 18,000 same-sex couples that

sometimes i wonder

2009-02-05T19:48:00.001-08:00

i grew up believing i was a loner.and i still wonder sometimes. over the last coupla years with E, especially, i wonder how i managed to end up a mom. i know i shouldn't have.don't get me wrong. i love her. i would kill for her. i would die for her. i have cried over her when i could do nothing else, especially when she was having surgery. but i sometimes don't feel i have a mommy bone in my

actually...here's where i wanted to go with that...

2009-02-03T12:01:00.000-08:00

so...the last woman i went on a date with (not the gal, lol) told me i needed to figure out what i was. i apparently didn't look or act enough like a lesbian and her gaydar wasn't beeping.also...i didn't have enough experience with women. apparently i'm a homo-in-training until what relationship number? sheesh.i enjoy women. i enjoy dating women. i enjoy the gal i'm sorta with right now. lol

lots of quiet thinking..

2009-02-03T11:53:00.001-08:00

the gal and i have been "dating" again. i'm trying to not be pushy but i'm really curious as to her exes. really think i wanna smack a few of em..gotta say...i'm just happy to be able to see her...

8 random things about me...

2009-01-24T09:24:00.000-08:00

read this on Nulaanne's blog and decided to do it myself. Dunno who's reading, but if you do...let me know. hmmm1. my eyes don't focus together, which means I can't see 3D objects or movies. In fact, I had trouble the first time I went to the DMV for the eye test, because I read the symbols on one side and didn't even think about the fact that both eyes would have them.2. I'm prolly a bit

my sex style

2009-01-18T12:56:00.000-08:00

The Wild Rose Random Brutal Love DreamerRBLD You are The Wild Rose. Prone to bouts of cynicism, sarcasm, and thorns, you excite a certain kind of woman. Hoping to gather you up, she flirts and winks and asks you out, ultimately professing her love. Then you make her bleed. Why? Because you’re the rare, independent, self-sufficient kind of woman who does want love, but not from a weakling.

A smile to end the week

2009-01-11T20:03:00.001-08:00

Well, something at least brightened my week. lolMy kiddo is taking a shower...and I hear the "mama...something bad's happening" voice. I run into the bathroom and look in the shower. She has a soap pump...similar to mousse...that apparently decided to empty all at once. She had soap all OVER the place. And the look on her face was priceless! I managed to stop the pump and it took everything

funnier stuff

2009-01-08T13:15:00.000-08:00

all right....i know i've read several blogs about lesbian identity...and i'm still trying to translate some of those terms into something that makes sense to me. I'm prolly not a "baby rainbow" anymore as one gal called me, but i sometimes feel i'm stuck in the "toddler" phase. lolso, when the last gal and i first intro'd ourselves, we designated ourselves as soft butch. once i met her, i

things are bright!

2008-12-30T08:21:00.000-08:00

k. We talked and worked and pushed and prodded and she showed up at my work Christmas Day. We're both still scared. But. We're going to follow this to wherever it leads. And, yes...i like where it is leading. I can envision her in my plans for the upcoming year...and that is unusual. :) So...we take it day by day. We enjoy each other. And we get closer. Yup. I can handle this!

dithering and dallying

2008-12-19T15:30:00.000-08:00

fudge nuts...wasn't paying attention and lost my blog. sigh.Y'all know i've discussed my job from time to time. I'm a non-coffee drinking coffee master with a want of running my own store. Most of you (if not all) know that Starbucks closed a hella lot of stores, including 14 in St Louis. I've been circling the airport for awhile now, waiting to land in an asst store manager position....and

whoo boy!

2008-12-14T20:40:00.000-08:00

If i don't get any more sick before then, I have a date Thursday. Kinda excited! I like dating. :) though how I can get thru it without being a total shy wuss is beyond me. We've been texting and emailing and im-ing. I know....we'll actually talk come Thursday. Going to Schlafly, and then I guess we'll see. While I like dating, i suck at planning them! lol

it's been a long time

2008-11-15T18:02:00.001-08:00

I haven't posted in this particular blog in nearly 2 years. I've another blog, that is private that i rant to only a few people. but...i think i need to write more in other places.just a line to say i'm alive.

2007-05-27T08:49:00.000-07:00

hmmm...another spot to blog. Well....hmmm...went out to a bar the other night for a friend's 21st birthday. The friend is a lesbian, and the bar of choice was a gay bar. It was a lot of fun, but one other very goofy lady (straight) decided she was in love with the male bartender (hmmm...gay bar, good probability, ya think?) and kept flirting with him all night. He was a good sport about it